7 Steps On How To Cope With Changes

Happy New Year to all MT readers. Please forgive me for my absence from blogging. Truly as what they say a “Child changes everything”. In these few months since my last post I have been occupied and coping with a new family member (my son). To sum it up, the experience of being a father is joyful, satisfying, tiring, stressful, humbling and divine.

Both my wife and I are going through changes in our lives, those days where it was just the two of us, going out for dinner, shopping and holiday trips has now taken a backseat while we cope with our new life and schedules. Family and Friends surely made the coping easier with lots of advise and support, really thank God for them.

The thing is this, in life, there are bound to be changes, it happens everyday, everywhere and in all situations. Let us imagine this scenario. You are driving along a highway when suddenly the car beside you changes lanes and moved into yours. How will you react to this change. Will you press the horn and start cursing, ease on the brake and allow the car to come into the lane thus avoiding an accident or just keep moving straight and ram the car, hehe and hope to settle the issue with a fist fight? How we react to the change, determines our life, our decision on what to do determines our future. Just as a shooter who twists his hand slightly while firing a gun will cause the bullet to miss its target entirely. The same is with our life, where everything may be going on fine until we make a wrong decision and wreck our life entirely.

Be it in Investment, Health, Relationship, Career, Finances or any areas of your life, when changes happens, have an open mind and determination to face it and cope with it. Remember, stress comes when we do not know how to cope with changes.

1) Be cool – The first step is to always be composed, let your heart be filled with peace. When your thoughts and emotions are clouded it is impossible to make a good decision. I once heard a story of how a lady ran straight to the wall when someone shouted ‘Fire’, while there was an open door a few feet away from her. Be patient, be still, when you are still, you can see things clearer.

2) Analyze your situation – To cope with a change, you need to know what has changed. Find out more about the situation, to what extend it has affected you. Were there any changes to your finances, status, health, family, relationships and etc. When you consider every area of your life, you will be able to access the extend of the change. Try to step out of your problem and take an outside view of your situation, this way you can also see what is affecting your life clearer.

3) Seeking help – This step requires humility, but it provides the best solution when taken. Look for a person whom you can confide in. Someone who has gone through such situation. Talk to them and present to them your issue, be clear and open about your thoughts and what you are going through. Then listen to them carefully, take notes or remember their suggestions.

Read up and research on the subject that you are facing, this is the best opportunity to gain new knowledge and experiences. You safe lots of time and mistakes if you follow this step.

4) Make a decision – With all the research, analysis and advises, now it is time to decide what to do. When making decisions, it is important to put away selfishness, greed, jealousy, hate and other destructive emotions. Some people fear making wrong decisions thus postponing their problems. Your decision may not be the best, but when you consider the risk, pros and cons and decide, you are better than making no decision at all. Avoid implementing too many decisions at one go, you may solve the problem but you may end up confused and not knowing how you rectified the situation. So take it step by step.

5) Give yourself some time – Each of us have different capabilities and are able to solve problems at different speed. Do not push yourself too much, set a time to work on the plan and have an idea of when you would like to achieve your goal. Some common mistakes that we make is that we compare our capabilities with others and then hate ourselves for performing slower. If you keep doing this, you will find that you will hate yourself more and more. Motivate yourself to improve yourself according to a target that you set for yourself, not according to other’s target, it also gives you more satisfaction when you achieve your goal.

6) Stick to your decision – Implement your decision, make it work and do your best. Learn all that you can from the implementation of your decision. Don’t keep changing your mind, it will just create more problems.

7) Analyze and chart your development – Your decision does not just end there, you need to constantly evaluate the performance of your decision. Fine tune your actions if need to and continue to flow with the plan.

In the end you would know if you have coped well with the change when you are happier and not pondering on the matter again and again. If you are able to turn a bad situation around into a positive one, you have learned how to make the best out of the worst. We could not stop changes from happening, only thing we can do is to face changes head on and prepared.